my worries

   It’s a beautiful rainy morning and I have not slept since I woke up around 12 o'clock for an emergency. Feeling not a bit sleepy (for I slept a lot since afternoon till then), I was all fresh to have my night spent by continuing attentively my reading of the novel by Anne Bronte; I have just finished it. I'm so excited at the happy ending of the novel after going through so much distresses and ups and downs being accompanied with the characters themselves. Anne Bronte finished it well, bless her, for if she had closed it with sorrows of the two lovers I wouldn’t forgive her for a world!

  I am going to take another novel to read, I have bought some fine ones last year at that international exhibition, among which I have only read this just- finished-novel "The Tennant of Wildfell Hall". I love reading novels, since it gives me, beside a pleasure, a better view and understanding of the world and helps me to decide better and wiser for every steps I am about to…. I don’t need to say that it improves my English as well.  Well, I have these unread novels available: "To The Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf, "Hard Times" and "A Tale of Two Cities" both by Charles Dickens and to my friends' great surprise and greater mockery "Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain. I don’t care what other might think but I just love to read it in English though I have watched the cartoon a hundred times when I was a kid. People can say any thing but fortunately they have a little influence on my own taste of pleasure! I will let you know which I choose when I could finally do.

 Oh the meeting is tomorrow and I'm quite anxious about it. I have to confess that I feel like my speaking is not as good as it used to be since I have not practiced it much for months. Well as every one is concerned, language learning is a matter of practice and it just flies off your head if you don’t practice what you already acquired. Well, to me I have worked a lot on my English, though I'm still so far behind. I used to watch lots of movies: imitating the accent, pronunciations or even the facial expressions. I did try to improve my listening by the help of movies and music. And I can say I was some how successful at that. My writing is not bad, But speaking is some thing which you can't learn it all by your self, there must be communications, and for me the company of my friends or classmates at the English institute and at university who were some how at my level was not satisfying or better say enough to learn a lot. Therefore, I had to cling to some thing else like internet and Yahoo messenger; to me chat rooms were the only sources of connection to native speakers. I made friends with some English speakers and they did truly help me and I have seen the great improves on my speaking!

  But you know, after 3 years, yahoo has gradually lost its color to me; for, frankly, most of the people in chat rooms are not very decent and obliged to principle and politeness. I had met all kind of  people on yahoo: some were not my type or were very boring, some were very insulting, some often thought themselves free of  any boundaries and allow themselves to ask any indecent proposals which here I'm ashamed of mentioning. But yet I tolerated it all for I knew I was learning a lot. I did meet some good people like Kevin, Brandy, Dakoda, mamabear, grumpy(Cory); but since I have got my web log I scarcely open my Yahoo and its been long I haven’t talked to them.

 I like web log better for its peaceful, personal or even poetic environment. Here people don’t intend to insult. Here the connection seems so innocent. Web logs are all about feelings and thoughts, about diaries, and about different stories of humanities around the world. I love writing my own feeling and thoughts where all people can read and give me feed back. My web log satisfies my need of having some one to talk. It’s also a great chance for writing in English and learning new words. But the problem is that writing is a mute practice. It's all with my mind to create and my fingers to type and that’s all. I never utter nor hear a single word. While in chat rooms I could talk and listen to what native speakers say. If it wasn’t for me being so aggravated by the sexy and dirty talks of many idles and pucks on yahoo, I would still use it as a laboratory. Now I really am thinking of another way of practicing my speaking if possible with native speakers. If anyone has got any idea please do let me know.

My God, I have a terrible headache. I guess I'd better leave the computer and rest my eyes for a while.

Narcis

Feb 8^th